MBD Articles

Sawyer Withdraws Consideration for 2002 Madliness Campaign

Nashua NH : In a surprising move, long time NCAA bracket prognosticator and part time cobbler, Mark Sawyer removed himself from the March Madliness 2002 Campaign. The following excerpt was taken from the press conference.

Sawyer - "It is with a heavy heart that I am leaving the 2002 Campaign behind. I feel that I can no longer give it the 100% dedication that it deserves. My family is being humiliated do to circumstances beyond my control. If anyone is going to humiliate my family, it will be me with 100% control. Like here.

Reporter - "Is there any truth to the rumor that you did this to try and drum up the sympathy vote for a possible political run?"

Sawyer - "No"

Reporter - "Have you had the runs recently?"

Sawyer - "Yes."

Reporter - "Have you ever seen a Golden Flash?"

Sawyer - "No. I was involved in an unfortunate golden shower incident once, but I'd rather not discuss it"

Reporter - "What's a Saluki?"

Sawyer - "I believe he is the the French food specialist on Iron Chef"

Reporter - "Does Tori Amos suck as much as I think she does"

Sawyer - "Absolutely"

Reporter - "Why did you pick Thomas Jones in the 4th Round of your Fantasy Football draft?"

Sawyer - "This interview is over"