MBD Articles
2002 Summer Movies - A Preview
"INSOMNIA" - Show times 2:30 AM - 3:30 AM - 4:00 AM - 5:00 AM -5:30 AM. Please let yourself in and turn the projector off when you leave.
"STAR WARS: EPISODE II -- ATTACK OF THE CLONES" - On a farm , a sheep named Dolly quietly nibbles hay. She has no memories of her father. And for good reason. She does not have one. A desire to learn her true identity will take her on a journey through time and space , eventually to a final conflict at the Roslin Institute where she meets her maker - literally.
"ABOUT A BOY" - This film opened to critical acclaim all across America , but specifically in the Catholic churches in the Boston area. You'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll be your little secret to keep repressed for years and years.
"THE MYSTIC MASSEUR" - When a neighboring Domino's tries to put them out of business, the ladies of Mystic Pizza put their heads together to try and save their beloved restaurant. Their answer? Bikinis, plenty of oil, and $29.95 for the "Hand-Made Special".
"THE SALTON SEA" - A coming of age story as a young girl overcomes her lisp with the help of the troubled poet who penned "The Salton Sea & Other Poems To Correct Speech Impdeiments"
"ENOUGH" - She was a fly-girl. She acts. She sings. She's in commercials. She speaks in the third person. She publically disgraces herself with her ridiculous requirements for personal appearances. Tired of it all, an angry mob is formed by middle class Americans to track her down and stop her becasue they have had "Enough"...
"THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST" - A documentary about the life story of Jim Varney where the tough questions get asked. Why would he want to go to camp at age 47? What was jail like? What exactly did he mean when he said to Vern "Earnest Rides Again"?
"SPIRIT: STALLION OF THE CIMARRON" - A drunken college student gives himself a ridiculous nickname in hopes of luring inquisitive young co-eds back to his dorm room.
"CQ" - A dyslexic man takes over a computer company and focuses his efforts on Quality Control department.
"THE LADY AND THE DUKE" - A suburban househusband thinks he is John Wayne. The town prostitute wants to help him through his troubled time. The pair team up to compete in a country western karaoke contest as The lAdy and the Duke.
"MASTER OF DISGUISE" - MCA re-releases Opportunity Knocks under a different name, hoping to help people see the 1990 film since "they obviously meant to before but just didn't get around to it".
"THE SUM OF ALL FEARS" - What you get when you cross a Tom Clancy thriller with a leading man meant for movies like Chasing Amy.
"UNDERCOVER BROTHER" - A boy discovers his fathers stack of nudie magazines. Now all he needs is a flashlight and for bedtime to roll around.
"BAD COMPANY" - The Tanners have some houseguests who can't seem to abide by their strict christian rules and regulations.
"DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD" - Two Jamaican sisters who own a cleaning company try to safeguard their discovery of the world's best carpet cleaner.
"13 CONVERSATIONS ABOUT ONE THING" - Youths at a Summer Camp discuss the various terms for a woman's private parts in this coming of age comedy.
"THE BELIEVER" - A documentary about the world's biggest self proclaimed Monkeys fan.
"THE BOURNE IDENTITY" - A doctor yells push. A woman screams. A man faints. A baby is born. But it looks Chinese and Joe, the husband, is Irish. Whose kid is this?
"CHERISH" - A documentary about the stupidest contest MTV ever held and the "brainchild" who came up with the idea of having fans make their own videos to Madonna's song.
"RAIN" - 3 College Pro Painters enter into some wacky hijinx after their work day gets washed away.
"SCOOBY-DOO" - A tasty little snack about an aging Frank Sinatra and his court battle with Hanna Barbera. Sinatra alleges that his catch phrase "Doobie Doobie Doo" eventually spawned the idea for Scooby Doo.
"WINDTALKERS" - The story of 4 contestants at a Chili eating contest.
"ATANARJUAT, THE FAST RUNNER" - A drunken father names his child whle playing Boggle and makes up a fake American Indian reference to hide the truth.
"CINEMA PARADISO: DIRECTOR'S CUT" - A film about salary negotiations in the Hollywood industry.
"JUWANNA MANN" - A Jewish woman unlucky at love places this personal ad in an inner city newspaper as her last ditch effort to find happiness.
"MINORITY REPORT" - The documentary about the state of minority's in America according to a 3rd grade class from Davenport , Iowa.
"HEY ARNOLD! THE MOVIE" - Gary Coleman's entry into the adult movie market.
"MR. DEEDS" - Adam Sandler searches for the real person behind the pen name "Mr. Deeds" , the bastard that convinced him Littl Nicky was a good idea.
"PUMPKIN" - A film about the tradional dating habits of the average Western Kentucky hillbilly.
"MEN IN BLACK II" - Garth Brook's ushers are back again as the country singer plans on giving marriage another go with Trisha Yearwood.
"THE POWERPUFF GIRLS MOVIE" - When the Junior girls of Jefferson High try and find a way to even the score with the Seniors , they come up with the perfect idea : Flag Football.
"BLUE CRUSH" - A local diner is over run with elderly church folk every Sunday morning after mass.
"THE CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE" - Steve takes his driving test.
"LOVELY & AMAZING" - The title of egomaniac Kathy Lee Gifford's autobiogragphy.
"REIGN OF FIRE" - Things really heat up at the Char Broil 2002 Hot Sauce Contest as the defending champion unleashes his latest creation , Scorch-hole.
"ROAD TO PERDITION" - Bugs Bunny finally takes that left turn at Albuquerque. Not so happy now, are ya Bugs?
"SUNSHINE STATE" - In order to attract tourists, lobbyists from Syracuse put pressure on local legislators to change the state motto.
"EIGHT-LEGGED FREAKS" - A set of quintuplets joined at the hips start a dance troupe.
"HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION" - Ronald Miller finally atones for throwing shit on Kenny's house.
"K-19: THE WIDOWMAKER" - After Lane Meyer beat Roy on one ski being chased by a 10 year old psycho on a bike, the owners expand the dreaded K-12 to keep their reputations as the toughest mountain around.
"AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER" - Austin finally achieves good credit and becomes a Bank of America Visa Goldmember and entertains thoughts of reaching the ultimate Platinum status.
"THE COUNTRY BEARS" - William "Refrigerator" Perry and Jim McMahon find themselves stuck in the prairies of Arkansas with no cell phone to call for help.
"MY WIFE IS AN ACTRESS" - Watch as Tommy Lee tries to deliver this line with a straight face on the red carpet at the 1999 MTV Movie Awards.
"TADPOLE" - A man endures countless dick jokes after his parents curse him with this name.
"GANGSTER NO. 1" - McDonald's launches it's new value meal at the Vibe Awards post party.
"THE KID STAYS IN THE PICTURE" - A man's wife gets almost everything after the divorce, but his gutsy attorney keeps fighting and he is granted photographic rights to his children.
"NOTORIOUS C.H.O." - Margaret Cho is forced to contemplate changing her last name to 6 letters so she can log into LL Bean website. Will She? Won't She? Chances are no one cares.
"GIRLS CAN'T SWIM" - A father's inability to deal with his young son's pressing questions of why girls have boobs forces him into a web of lies.
"NIJINSKY" - A new form of martial arts gains popular status in the suburbs of New Jersey.
"NEVER AGAIN" - After an all night booze binge, 3 college students wake up next to very large, unattractive women and vow to walk the straight and narrow from that day forward. A sequel is already in the works. It is title "And This Time I Mean It"
"FULL FRONTAL" - An Iowa businessman on a trip to Atlantic City is inexplicable lured off the streets when a sign catches his eye.
"IGBY GOES DOWN" - A morning announcement over the High School intercom dramatically changes a girl's popularity.
